Dealing with A**holes – Part 2 of 3 -The Art of Smiling Through the Bullsh!t!
Dealing with A**holes – Part 2 of 3 -The Art of Smiling Through the Bullsh!t!
Alright, lads, if you’ve made it to part two. Kudos! You’ve either mastered the “Showtime Mindset” or are just here for the laughs. Either way, welcome back. This time, we’re diving into the treacherous waters of passive-aggressive humor. It’s that sweet spot between saying what you REALLY mean and not getting slapped for it.
Why go Passive-Aggressive?
The beauty of being passively-aggressive is that it’s like fighting with pillows. You can hit someone square in the face, and they’ll be too confused or busy laughing to be mad. If done right, they might not even notice. It’s the gentleman’s way of saying, “I acknowledged your bullsh*t, and chose not to engage.”
Here’s how to master this refined art:
Compliment Sandwich: This classic move involves sandwiching a less-than-stellar comment between two compliments. E.g., “I’ve always admired how confidently you speak. Even when you’re completely wrong, which is often. But hey, at least you’re consistent!”
The ‘I Agree’ Technique: This is where you agree with the a-hole’s ludicrous statement but take it to an extreme, revealing the absurdity. E.g., “Yes, John, the earth might be flat. In fact, I’m planning to walk to the edge this weekend. Want to join me?”
The ‘Oversharing’ Response: When faced with an unsolicited opinion, go on a tangent about something completely unrelated and overshare. “You think my tie doesn’t match my shirt? That reminds me of the dream I had last night involving three unicorns and a space taco…”
The Gentle Correction: This involves correcting someone without making it seem like a big deal, even if their statement was way off base. E.g., “Oh, I see where you’re coming from, but I believe the term you’re looking for is ‘quantum physics’, not ‘quantum psychics’.”
The “Mmm, Interesting” Response: When all else fails, and you’ve got no witty retort up your sleeve, just nod thoughtfully and say, “Mmm, interesting.” It’s the perfect non-answer. You’re neither agreeing nor disagreeing, just acknowledging that noise came out of their mouth hole. Now, a word of caution: tread lightly. Not every occasion calls for sarcasm (I know, shocking). It’s a spice tool, best used sparingly, lest you transform from the funny guy into “that sarcastic jerk.” In the end, remember it’s all in good fun. You’re making lemonade out of a$$holes. If you’re not enjoying the banter, it’s time to shift back to “Showtime Mindset” and exit stage left.
Up next, in Part 3, we explore the unexpected joy of… actually enjoying an a-hole’s company? Stick around; it’ll be a hoot.
-Coach Darin
Learn More: Part 3 of 3 – Mastering Relationships in an A**hole-Filled World