Dealing with A**holes – Part 3 of 3 – Mastering Relationships in an A**hole-Filled World
Dealing with A**holes – Part 3 of 3 – Mastering Relationships in an A**hole-Fill World
Welcome back, gentlemen! So, you’ve mastered the art of facing the a-hole head-on with the “Showtime Mindset”. Dazzled them with your passively-aggressive wit. And now, the pièce de résistance: Let’s talk about lovingly setting up that invisible electric fence, Pivot calls “relational circle boundaries”.
Relational What-now?
I’m talking about Relational Circle Boundaries, lads. Think of them as those invisible lines you draw to keep your pesky younger sibling out of your room, but for adults and more emotional than spatial. You might be thinking, “But why do I need boundaries?” Well, do you want to be yanked around by every Tom, Dick, or Harry that feels the need to share their life’s story, latest conspiracy theory, or newest diet trend? I didn’t think so.
Breaking Down the Boundaries
What are Boundaries? It’s not you yelling, “Stay off my lawn!” Rather, it’s a subtle way of establishing how you allow others to interact with you. You manage it, you control it. It’s for your safety and enjoyment of any situation. Forget ultimatums or demands. This is about ensuring your own well-being, regardless of how zany, handsy, or socially inappropriate the other person is behaving.
If you’re treating relationships with an IN or OUT mechanism – as in, “I like you, so you’re in. I don’t like that comment, so you’re out” – you’re doing it wrong. That’s like having a car with just two speeds: 0 and 100 mph. You’re missing the nuance, the journey, the radio tunes!
The Magical On/Off Switch: If you’ve been operating like an old TV set, only having an ON and OFF switch (you trust until betrayed, or distrust until proven worthy), it’s time to upgrade to a model with a volume knob, or hell, even a remote!
Making it Work
Self-Honesty: Look in the mirror. No, not to admire that handsome devil staring back, but to reflect on your own behaviors and feelings. If something or someone feels off, recognize it. Get curious about it.
Seek Clarity: Unsure about where someone stands in your life? Time for a heart-to-heart, bro. Or maybe a session with a PIVOT coach. They’re like personal trainers but for feelings. You’ve heard of those, right?
Commitment to Change: Ever tried changing your diet? Yeah, it’s like that. Hard, sometimes uncomfortable, but ultimately for your best. And a great way to find new food you actually enjoy.
Remember, the goal isn’t to create a fortress around yourself but to know who to let into your VIP section and who gets general admission.
And there you have it. You’re now equipped with the skills to not only face the a-holes in your life but to dance with them gracefully, avoiding any toe-stepping along the way. In conclusion, life’s too short to let any old a$$hole ruin your day. Take charge, set boundaries, and remember to always keep that humor close by. It’s the best shield against the bullsh*t.
Remember, “Boundaries aren’t walls; they’re the gates and fences that allow you to enjoy the beauty of your own garden.”
– Coach Darin